Those Damned Books
by Desbelleschoses
Summary: Kakashi realizes that his apartment isn't big enough. Tenzo does his best to remain the responsible one. Kakashi ANBU era. KakaYama. Part 6 of Unofficial Rulebook for Reckless Ninja series.


Tenzo's breathing was soft an even, his lips parted ever so slightly in his sleep. The way he positioned his body, at first, made Kakashi wonder if he was feigning it. His kouhai lay on his side, knees bent in a fetal position, with one arm draped over his torso and the other bent so that his hand rested beside his face on the pillow. Kakashi had waited long enough to realize that this was, in fact, how Tenzo slept. For whatever reason, he hadn't noticed it before now. Rather, he didn't care to notice. It amused Kakashi to no end, comfortable as he was when splayed out in all directions when he slept alone.

As he lay sandwiched between the wall and the warm body next to him, he reflected that, now, he _really_ needed to get a new bed. It was one thing for his legs to hang off while he slept; after last night, there was the added challenge of not kicking Tenzo to the floor when his vivid dreams took him. But, a new bed meant less space in a flat he'd already filled. Maybe it was time to move. He was twenty after all, an age considered by almost everyone that qualified him as an 'adult.' It couldn't hurt to find a place that had more than six walls, if he counted the two that separated the bathroom from the rest of his home. Hadn't his landlady mentioned an opening?

After their fight, when Kakashi had finally come down from his traumatic reaction, Tenzo refused to leave him alone. Too tired to argue anymore, Kakashi relented and allowed him to stay. He winced at the memory, regretting what was said and how he'd spiraled into those parts of himself he didn't want Tenzo to see. Hopefully, his kouhai wouldn't ask about it when he woke. Doing his best not to jostle the bed, Kakashi was all kneecaps and elbows as he flipped himself over onto his stomach, falling into a comfortable position. He froze for several seconds to make sure Tenzo was still asleep before reaching up to the shelf on his headboard, pulling down his most recent copy of _Icha Icha_.

He bent the covers back to loosen the spine, and the pages made that satisfying crinkling sound that each new book gets only once. Bookworm that he was, it was one of Kakashi's favorite things. It was better than sex. Well… almost. Eagerly, he opened the cover to the title page, taking a moment to read the short inscription that prefaced each volume he owned. In scratchy handwriting below the printed title read:

 _To Kakashi~_

 _Now that you're over eighteen, the old man won't be able to confiscate this package! (Though, you always seem to find a way around that one. Your sensei and I are so proud.) Enjoy, but not too much. Make sure you actually get outside and talk to some real, live girls every now and again, eh?_

 _Until the next volume_

 _xJiraiya_

Kakashi smiled as he deciphered the characters, which was a challenge with how Jiraiya wrote. He bit back a chuckle, wondering if Lord Hiruzen had tried to get his hands on this volume. For a Hokage, old man Sarutobi was terrible at hiding things. As he got older, Kakashi wondered if he had been hiding the other volumes at all, or if he was making a show of it to cover his backside. He turned the crisp page, full of excitement now that he could see the conclusion to the cliffhanger last volume tortured him with – and for three years, at that!

He allowed himself the luxury of reading through the first chapter, which was a denouement from the previous book's closing chapter. It was probably a trick to sell more copies, but Jiraiya loved leaving the books just before the best part. Curiosity sated, he took the page between his fingers, intent on beginning the second chapter. A knock on his front door had him, regretfully, dog-earing the first page in this volume. It was inevitable that almost all of them would suffer the same fate at one point or another, but there was just something so melancholy about marking the first one.

The volume found its place back on the shelf as the knock sounded again. "'Comin!" Kakashi called, stumbling over Tenzo gracelessly. As he slipped, he took the man down with him, tangling them both in a pile of sheets and limbs that landed with a dull thud that only a human body could make.

"Are you okay?" The knocking became insistent. "Kakashi-taichou!"

Disoriented and sleepy as he was, Tenzo was the first to recognize the voice. "Yugao!" he hissed.

Kakashi swung his arms frantically, gesturing to the other side of his apartment. "Bathroom!"

Tenzo ran as quickly and quietly as he could to the one room of Kakashi's flat that wasn't part of his ridiculous open-floor plan. To his dismay, Kakashi realized he was dressed only in his boxers. Shit, he couldn't keep Yugao waiting any longer if he didn't want her to think something was wrong. Hastily, he took his blanket and wrapped it around himself like a cloak, clumsily holding the edge to his face in lieu of his mask.

When he cracked his front door, Yugao had her fist raised to knock again. Awkwardly, she lowered it. "Kakashi-taichou, you scheduled training for the new recruits for over an hour ago." She studied him with suspicion, eyes inquiring about his fashion choice.

Fuck, that _was_ today. Well, it wasn't like he was never late. He'd gotten over that eccentricity after Obito. His team should know by now to proceed as instructed without him when it came to training. "Right. Yeah, I'll be right there. I just overslept."

"Please hurry." She turned to leave, but stopped to look over her shoulder. "And Taichou, remind Tenzo if you see him. We sent Itachi-kun to his apartment, but it was empty." Beneath her words ran the message _because he's the reliable one, and we're actually worried_.

Kakashi waited until she teleported before closing the door. He slumped with his back against it, letting out a sigh of relief. "Fuck, that was close."

"Too close," Tenzo agreed. "It's lucky she didn't think to look for chakra signatures."

"She had no reason to." Kakashi shrugged. He picked his pants up from where he'd tossed his dirty clothes in a pile the night before.

"Guess not." Tenzo pulled his undershirt down over his head, puzzled at the strange tightness across his torso. Once he pulled it down, the excess fabric at the neck showed him his error. "Nope, yours."

"Trade." Kakashi tossed him the proper shirt before Tenzo removed his, passing it over. It would have been amusing if they weren't so late, and if that mistake wouldn't have been serious among their teammates.

"What's our cover?" Tenzo asked as he tightened the straps on his armor.

"I don't need one. They're used to it by now. Yugao will probably tell them I overslept or something."

"Well, what about me?"

"Yeah, that's tough… I don't know, you were doing something good. Being helpful. Carrying groceries for an old woman? Getting a cat out of a tree?"

"Are you mocking me?"

"You don't understand. Obito was late _every single day_ , and it was because of crap like that."

Tenzo was surprised to hear Kakashi speak so casually about his friend. Even Kakashi seemed caught off guard by the way his visible eye widened. Trying not to make a big deal out of what he considered an essential step of the grieving process, Tenzo broke the silence. "Cat out of a tree it is."

"Right. Um, I'll go out through the window, and you… wait, I don't know, thirty seconds then phase through the door?"

"Done." Tenzo watched as Kakashi climbed out his window before disappearing in a silver flash. Thoughtfully, he picked up the discarded blanket and took a moment to make the bed, unable to leave it in disarray. He'd be preoccupied with it all day, otherwise. Cat mask in hand, he activated his jutsu before walking through the locked door like it was made of water.

In an instant, he was on the training grounds, only a few feet behind Yugao. He jogged forward, informing her, "Sorry I'm late."

"Everything okay? You're never late."

"Tsuki-chan's kitten got stuck in one of the big oaks. It's so small, I didn't think it could get down itself."

"You're a bleeding heart." Yugao looked in front of them, where young ninja were sparring, two-on-two. "I had to send a few home, already. Nothing special, a call you or Kakashi-taichou would've made."

"I trust you," Tenzo affirmed. "He's running behind again, is he?"

"After I sent Itachi to find you, and he came back empty-handed, I went to find him myself. The state he was in, we'll be lucky to see him at all. At least you're here, now. We can finally get things going."

Securing his mask over his face, Tenzo stepped forward and gave a sharp whistle, at which the sparring came to an immediate halt. "Switch from taijutsu to ninjutsu!"

"Sir!" chorused the recruits before turning back to their opponents.

Tenzo sensed an abnormal surge of chakra behind him, and he turned on his heel to face the potential threat. To his surprise, Lord Hiruzen was looking on, studying the recruits as they fought.

"Lord Hokage!" Tenzo lowered into a bow, which Yugao followed not a second later.

Hiruzen waved his hand lazily. "Relax. I just came to see what the new group was like." His brow creased when he realized that there were only two agents in front of him. "Where's Kakashi?"

"He should be on his way here shortly, my lord," Yugao assured the hokage.

Hurizen pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "I'm going to ban those damned books from this village."

"Books, my lord?" Tenzo inquired.

"Jiraiya's drivel he's peddling as romance novels. They've caused me nothing but trouble, much like their author…" He frowned. "Every time he publishes a new one, like clockwork, he sends a copy to Kakashi. Really, these are jonin-level ninja we're talking about. The next time-" Aware that he was rambling, he shook his head, dismissing his train of thought. "But that's why you're here, Tenzo. You know, Team Kai needs a new captain."

"I'm honored, sir, but I think it's pretty clear that I'm needed on Team Ro."

Unable to argue with his logic, the hokage shrugged. "It's open if you change your mind." Turning his attention back to the recruits, he mumbled, "I think Uchiha is the last one we'll be getting out of this year's batch. Keep them going for now, for appearances. Give them one more practice before sending them home."

"Yes, sir." Tenzo bowed once more. While an unfortunate turn of events for the recruits, it wasn't uncommon in the slightest. The ANBU were the best of the best. Any ninja who fell outside the top one percent wasn't worth the armor they'd wear. It was a sad, somewhat cynical fact that most of these ninja would be buried in their uniform just the moment after they put it on. He watched Hiruzen walk down the road. Yugao waited until the hokage was out of earshot before speaking up.

"That's disappointing. Predictable, but still."

"We were able to get a handful this time around, which is better than usual. There's nothing we can do; Lord Hokage's veto makes it a done deal." Tenzo cracked his knuckles. "Itachi's already proven to be more of an asset than Kakashi-senpai thought."

"Yeah, I guess we didn't need him, after all." Yugao was clearly annoyed that she ran across the village for nothing. "Really, those books can't be _that_ interesting."

"I can lend them to you if you're curious." Kakashi's voice spoke from behind. Yugao and Tenzo jumped, spinning to face their captain. Sure enough, his nose was in his latest volume, and he raised his hand in a wordless greeting. "The plot is really compelling."

Yugao snorted. "Sure."

"Lord Hokage told us to send these recruits home at the end of the day," Tenzo informed his superior, trying to be businesslike. "He's not accepting any of them."

"Why the end of the day? We can just send them home now." Kakashi peered over the top of his book.

"He wants to keep up appearances."

"Oh, for god's sake." Kakashi closed his book with a snap and strode forward, whistling far more loudly and sharply than Tenzo had done. Once he was sure he had everyone's attention, he declared. "None of you made it. Go home."

Amidst displeased grumblings and several swears, the recruits began to disperse when they realized the ANBU agent was serious. "Kakashi-senpai," Tenzo began in a scolding tone.

"What? It's a waste of their time, and it's a waste of ours. I came all the way out here just to tell these guys that they didn't make the cut. If Lord Hiruzen gets angry, it's all on me, okay?" In a fluid motion, he re-opened his book, sticking his free hand in his pocket.

Yugao and Tenzo looked at one another, a silent exchange passing between them before Yugao vanished. She saw no reason to stay, after all. Tenzo began to form a series of hand signs when Kakashi glanced up at him. "I need a second set of hands later. Think you can come by in a couple hours?"

"Um, yeah, sure," Tenzo agreed, puzzled by his request. If Kakashi actually asked for help, he needed it. That wasn't his way of using double entendre, and there was nothing in his body language to suggest it should be taken that way.

"Great." He smiled, and, with a slight wave, Kakashi started walking in the direction of his home.

The sun had reached its peak when Tenzo, freshly showered and in a new set of civilian clothes, trudged up the steps to Kakashi's apartment. The front door was propped open, which made him instantly suspicious. The ruckus from inside told him Kakashi wasn't alone.

"It'll be fine!" Guy's booming voice said in assurance.

"I know you can lift it. It's the cardboard that's the problem." He could practically hear Kakashi rolling his eyes.

"I know a thing or two about structural integrity."

As Tenzo climbed the last step, he was able to see Guy standing in front of the bookshelf, piling paperbacks into a cardboard box. He stepped over the threshold and caught sight of Kakashi in his kitchen. He was barefoot, standing precariously on the countertop as he retrieved something Tenzo couldn't see from on top of the cabinet. He looked over his shoulder at Tenzo, but, with both hands occupied, he had to settle for a verbal greeting. "Yo. Thanks for coming."

"What's going on?" Tenzo asked with caution.

"I'm moving. I thought I told you."

"What? When did this happen?"

"Hmm, three, four hours ago?" Sensing his confusion, Kakashi explained, "My landlady owns the whole building, and there's this family on the first floor that just moved out. You know, to get a house. It's a little more expensive, but hey, I won't be getting letters every month complaining that I exceed maximum capacity by roughly ten every couple of weeks."

"Just start packing boxes," Guy declared. "Don't worry about what goes where. He'll have it unpacked tomorrow morning, I'm sure." Bandaged hands reached down and lifted the cardboard box, which he balanced on his shoulder to keep from tearing at the bottom. "Down to 105!" After informing Tenzo of the new location, he strode out the door to deposit the box.

Tenzo took advantage of his absence to say, "Kakashi, you can't just make decisions like that."

"Why not?" Kakshi asked as his feet touched back down on the floor. "I need more space, the apartment's vacant, and I don't have to go looking."

"Because it takes more than three hours to decide whether or not to move. It's a big decision."

"Not for me. Actually, I think it would be nice to have a real bedroom, with a bed I fit on. Maybe I can use the kitchen now. Or, I could have the guys over and keep them in one room. Think about it, one room. I won't have to clean the entire place." He smiled, his eyes turning into crescents. "C'mon, Tenzo. 200 square feet to 400."

Tenzo looked around the cramped apartment, which was, truly, not big enough for even one person to live in. "I mean, as long as you've thought it out."

"I have. It would be suicide to bring a new mattress in here, and the one I have just isn't cutting it."

Before Tenzo could comment, Guy returned, flashing them a thumbs-up. "Told you I had it."

"Yeah, you did, Guy." Kakashi gave a placating grin. "Do me a favor and grab the bookcase next, would you? I'll feel better once they're back in place."

"You know your attachment to books is strange, right?"

"Not going there."

Guy responded with a laugh. "Whatever you say, Kakashi."

What few belongings Kakashi possessed were easily moved down to the bottom floor, with only a few of the larger pieces requiring more than one person to navigate down the stairs. The new apartment was far nicer, containing a full-sized kitchen, a living room, and, as Kakashi was so thrilled to have, a separate bedroom. Even though he lived alone, he sorely missed his privacy when he had company. His friends were too nosy for their own good, most of the time.

Guy departed once the last of the boxes were safely inside. Choza was treating his old squad to dinner, to celebrate Ebisu's promotion to special jonin. Left to the task, Kakashi and Tenzo set about unpacking in relative silence. The book case in the living room was slowly filled in a system that only Kakashi could understand, and Tenzo managed to find a place in the kitchen for everything.

The walls were bare, and the space seemed overwhelming, but it was something to get used to. Kakashi wouldn't care much about decoration, and Tenzo planned to slowly introduce various wall hangings or pieces to the apartment when he visited. All at once would be too much for Kakashi; better to ease him into it.

The white-haired man was kicking the leg of his couch lightly, almost prodding it, with a displeased expression. Tenzo waited for him to say something. When he didn't, Tenzo relented.

"What is it?"

"I don't wanna sleep on the couch," came a grumbled response. They'd spent so much time moving and unpacking that he hadn't taken care of his sleeping arrangement. All he had was a box of blankets and pillows sitting on the floor of the empty bedroom.

He sighed. "You're asking me if you can stay the night, aren't you?"

His lack of protest told him all he needed to know.

"Just… come on." Tenzo gestured for him to follow. "This is why I try to make you think things out, you know?"

"Maa, Tenzo, don't lecture me. I've had a long day moving."

"Yes, I'm aware. Do you have your keys?"

Kakashi withdrew his hand from his pocket, keyring around his middle finger. He held lazily at eye level before returning it to its place. With that, the door was shut and locked, and the pair set off.

"You know, when someone helps somebody move, they usually pay them back by buying dinner or alcohol," Tenzo informed his companion.

"I would, but I don't have my wallet."

"We can go back for it."

Kakashi shook his head, walking with his head tilted toward the ground. "Can't. Locked myself out," he lied, keeping his best poker face. He stumbled when Tenzo bumped him with his shoulder, a gesture he hadn't expected in a public setting.

"I can't stand you, Senpai."


End file.
